Drop Back 10

Drop back 10 & punt.....I had intended to can my beets this morning - it should have been done much earlier in the week. I had the stove cleaned off, 2 counters cleaned, sink cleaned....only to realize that I was out of pint jars. I had called home the other day and asked Son1 if I had any - he said yes. However they turned out to be filled already - with peaches and strawberries. So now I have to drop back and rethink my day. I could run to the store and get more jars. However to do so simply for that is a waste of gas. So....do I do that anyway- with gas at over $3.00/gal or do I stay home during the day - knowing that I'm going out tonight and try to get other stuff done at home? If so....what's the most efficient use of my time?

It's going to be another hot muggy day - actually worse than yesterday as the temps are supposed to get into the 90's. I'm already wanting the air conditioners running and am resisting that urge. We've had thunderstorms the past 2 nights and more are predicted for tonight. Tonight is Singles Night - and I'm planning on attending. It should be a really fun one again - I hope.

I guess I can clean and do laundry today. Am praying that I do actually have an Amish run tonight - taking one girl out to her boyfriend's. That will provide some gas for the car and really work well with my current schedule. I have another run tomorrow afternoon - unfortunately at this point it's only 1 person going out. I'm hoping that there will be more - I'm going ot have to raise my prices as it is.

Ok....I'll go finish the kitchen and work on getting Son2's carpet under his bookshelp out I guess. I may have to get more beets though before I can can them.

Much better today

I am feeling much better this morning - still didn't get to bed until after midnight but felt better when I got up this morning - and ate right away too. Son1 did get to go to the fair last night - Son2 and I stayed home. Son1 came home absolutely thrilled with how the derby went - and with the goal to enter his own derby car when he's old enough.

We had major major thunderstorms last night - continous lightening and heavy rain for close to half an hour. I really expected the power to go out - especially as at one point the security light in the back yard was out. AS far as I can tell from the house we didn't get any direct hits on the trees but I'm sure there are at least a few branches down. The storms eased up for abit then came back around 45 minutes later - I fell asleep then and don't know how long the second set lasted or how severe they were. There are more severe storms predicted for tonight as well.

I've got much catching up to do today as I didn't accomplish anything yesterday. However I did finish the section of carpet in Son2's room the other day.

This is likely a boring rambling post but....it's my life at the moment.

Exhaustion

I am completely exhausted this morning. Son2 was awake until midnight last night and I honestly don't know what time I went to sleep - it was after he finally settled. He's been having issues this week with getting to bed - hasn't been able to fall asleep in his own bed. I'm not sure what the deal is or how to help him - he won't talk about whatever might be bothering him. Anyway....at the moment I'm extremely exhausted and dizzy. However I can't go back to bed as I'm watching S's older girls this morning. I think I will lay down on the couch after I give one her meds. The boys want to go to the county fair tonight to watch the derby - it will be expensive so I'm not thrilled about it.

More another time...when I'm not so dizzy.

Everyday stuff

Boy again I had vague ideas of what to write about - and they are gone. I'm going to be taking the kids and we are heading out to Warsaw shortly - Son1 isn't enthused but that's life. We need to go to the "cereal" store and I need to return a pair of pants to Kohl's. I can wear petites in capris but not in jeans - unfortunately. Today is going to be - hopefully - another relatively quiet day spent catching up on stuff. I want to finish pulling the carpet in Son2's room - at least mostly. His dresser has been pulled out from the wall for a couple of days now and I won't put it back until I get the carpet out from there. Then there is his bookshelf to unload and move to get the carpet under that. After that all that is left is his desk and his closet. I'll be glad to get it all out. I would really like to have Son1's room done before school starts but I'm not sure if that will happen or not. We did end up adding another shelf to his bookshelf in his room - now he's actually got some room there. Anyway if we end up getting the carpet out of both boys' rooms before school starts that will only leave mine to be done before I have to think about actually refinishing the floors. And I will feel like I actually accomplished something this summer. In the meantime I fight the on-going war with paper that comes into the house. I really want to burn our burn pile tonight - if it's not too terribly hot and if it doesn't rain.

The other issue I'm dealing with right now - relatively minor one that is - is protecting my birdfeeders from the raccoons. This year they are a major nuisance. They have destroyed two of my feeders completely and carried another one off somewhere - I haven't been able to find it. That one was new too and I really liked it. (insert sad smiley here). AT least I'm not the only one who considers them a major nuisance - the Amish have commented on how bad they are as well - and how big they are.

Well enough rambling for now - need to go get the boys moving so we can get our errands done before Son1 has running.

Everyday Stuff

ARGH - I did have thoughts in mind as to what to write about. Then I went to check on the kids - they are both ensconsed on the couch comfortably watching TV! So I'm going ot have to get after them to get Saturday chores done. With all the company we've had over the last month those have been neglected dreadfully as has our routine. However I completely enjoyed the company - it was so good to have it.

I've been outside already this morning - for an hour or so pulling weeds. I did most of the garden (such as it is) and one of my main flowerbeds. AS the grass was still wet and the soil was fairly damp as well I got quite muddy. However it's not too hot yet today so it was nice to be out. I've got my Saturday chores to do as well - laundry primarily. I want to get things picked up and cleaned thoroughly enough that Monday I can finish painting the small bathroom. Son2 has a fair bit of work to do - picking up the books he pulled off his brother's shelves last night. I will have to supervise that I'm sure. I was out doing an Amish run - and was supposed to have another one this evening. However I'm not sure if that will happen or not as the grandmother in that family was not doing well at all. It appeared as though they didn't expect her to live through the night. If I haven't heard anything by 4:00 pm I will check to see what's up - even if that means I have to go by there.

I have definitely realized that I have a much better day if I'm up before the boys - yesterday I slept in past when they got up. It left me headachy and dragging most of the day. Today - tho still very tired due to getting to bed very late last night I really don't have a headache and feel much better.

Better scoot - time to get dishwasher running, laundry going, etc. I would like to go to the fair this week but haven't made any decisions on that.

Quiet Times

Yesterday adn today I've gotten up (by alarm) before the kids - I'm really really appreciating this. Yes I'm extremely tired because it's still difficult to get to bed at a reasonable hour. However it's so nice to get up early while the house is quiet - have breakfast and hear the birds singing. NOw today the goal is to get off this computer and get out to the family room and have some quiet time. I have to be in the shower in 20 minutes or so as I have another early run so I'd better get.

Why Not the Church?

There's much to write about but right now I have one major question....Why is there no one in the local church that is willing to "adopt" two fatherless boys - to spend time with them outside of church functions, to call and take them out for a visit, to simply mentor them into becoming godly men?

There is a new ministry in the church we attend - S.T.I.C. - Serving Together in Christ. The "purpose" of the ministry is to be of assistance to the elderly, the handicapped and single parent families. I put down on my initial "about me" page that one of my needs was for someone to be a godly mentor and friend to the boys. Tonight - as I was dropping off Son1 for worship team practice I spoke with one of the "co-ordinatiors" of the ministry - she said she has some information from Big Brothers for me. What I wanted to say was "why aren't there people in the church willing to do this?" I don't want just any joe-blow to spend quality time with the boys. I want a man who is godly and willing to be a godly example to them - someone who is willing and able to speak of spiritual things, to pray with them....not just someone who will take them out to events. I'm not sure if I'm expressing myself clearly or not but anyway.....

Another time I will write about driving in tight circles in a parking lot, stoves going out, fun visits with dear friends.....

Grandma - NOT

Went to Walmart this afternoon with Derek - my friend's son who I watched the last 24 hours. I had several comments on how cute he was - very true comments too especially at 15 months. I'm so glad he knows me and is comfortable with me. Having said that I had at least two people call me - verbally - "Grandma" assuming I was his. ARGH!! I know I need to do something with my hair but didn't think I looked that old. Nothing like adding to my emotional struggles of the day. :) Oh well....I did get 2 batches of peaches for jam and juice for jelly done today - using most of the peaches we picked last night. And I did that while Derek was here - he amused himself quite contentedly. I really should get out there and pick more but am going to try to wait until tomorrow evening.

Lynn and kids should be in about midnight....I'm really excited about this visit. I truly miss them all so much - and that hasn't decreased any. And I'm still grieving having to change jobs. But I have to trust that God is in control and He will work it out.

Doctors & Fruit Trees

It's been a busy couple of days but mostly enjoyable. Friday I ended up having both boys to the dr. - Son1 had an ear infection and an upper respiratory infection; Son2 had a throat infection - he's prone to strep throat. Both are now on antibiotics and today seem better. Friday evening Mom and Dad arrived for a visit - it's terrific to see them and have them here for a couple of days.

Saturday.....bird feeders got filled and rehung, flowers got transplanted, a couple of birdhouses got cleaned - one of which turned out to have an active nest in it. We are currently hoping the mama of the 3 rust colored eggs returns to care for them. And no more birdhouses have been cleaned. We also picked peaches - not quite ripe yet but the branch was so loaded it was in danger of breaking. Probably the most fun part of the day was hunting for ripe black raspberries (blackberries - not sure which it is) along the tree line of the property. Heedless of scratches, bug bites, thorns I pressed on to find more ripe ones - experienced the thrill of the chase. We got about 1 1/2 cups - not enough to make a pie or anything yet. However there are plenty more on the bushes. One of these days I'm going to get that area cleaned up. However I will wear proper shoes and long pants and bug spray when that happens.

I wish I knew how to insert dancing bananas and other emoticons....guess I will learn that eventually.

Trampolines & Amish Wedding Receptions

I should be heading to bed as it's almost 11:00 pm but....we were outside until almost 10:00. It's been a busy day - with both routine and new experiences. This morning a friend from church dropped off her son Brent - same age as my Son2 - for the day so she could go to work. All 3 boys played together very well for most of the day - alternated between being inside watching TV or doing PS2 or outside - riding scooters, rollerblades, playing with the water hoses or attempting to set up the new trampoline (that's been in the box in the barn for over a year now). I was really proud of all three boys - they got the parts out, sorted and lined up in the right order. They even got them started put together - until they were physically not strong enough to go any further. I wasn't either - so they willingly put everything back in the barn. In the meantime I worked on getting the mowing done on our two acres. I also knew I needed to get the gift wrapped and card made for the Amish wedding reception I was attending this evening. When Brent's dad came to pick him up he helped get the frame for the trampoline together....using a rubber mallet and me standing on the other end of whatever piece he was working on - holding it together with a log between my belly/hip and the frame. I simply can't describe how it looked.

By 5:15 I was still outside - gift not wrapped, card not made, still in sweaty, dirty shorts and t-shirt - and needing to be at the reception dinner by 6:00 pm! Quick shower, change - get card and gift together - head to car. Son 2 accidentally drops the gift and it shatters - still wrapped. So I head off with it in the car - knowing I can't deliver it. It was rather overwhelming to pull into this Amish home - filled with both Amish and "English" that I didn't know. I was made to feel very welcome and well fed. Probably my most enjoyable part of the evening was beginning to get to know just a few of the children that were there - trying to figure out who belonged to who and getting to play with a couple of babies.

Then home to spray the fruit trees, finish putting up the trampoline with another friend's help and finally inside to clean up (again). There's dishes to be done yet tonight and laundry that should be cared for. Yikes - a woman's work seems never to be done.

For You Sis

I was reminded tonight that the purpose of blogging was to write stuff. Small problem - I haven't been able to think of much to write about. Actually that's not true - I think of stuff but by the time I get time to sit at the computer it's gone - guess I need to carry a notebook and write down at least the initial thought so that I can explore it later.

We had an amazing - for lack of a better description - thunderstorm this afternoon. Very dark sky, heavy downpour, pea-sized hail. Pea-sized hail doesn't sound like much but I haven't seen hail at all in the 2 years I've lived here. Both Son 2 and I got soaked running from the house to the barn and back - loved hearing the rain on the tin roof. (We actually went to the barn to close the door to protect the topless lawn mower.) It rained hard for about 15 minutes or so then quit and the sun came out. Thankfully my flowers didn't seem to be damaged and all got a good water. I'm slowly getting a perennial flower bed in. Actually this year I added some Gerbera daisies - dont' think those are really perennials. However I'm hoping that the seeds will come back next year. In the meantime, I have these cheerful, colorful flowers to enjoy while I'm waiting on my purple coneflower and shasta daisy to open.

This evening - after the storms had gone and the sun had come out for abit - we saw a doe in the yard under the apple tree by the fence. It probably stayed 10 or 15 minutes before it hopped back over the fence and disappeared into the woods. Of course I couldnt' remember where I'd put my camera so didn't get a picture this time. However I guess I need to go out tomorrow and take pictures of the flowerbeds I'm getting in.

Ok...I've rambled on enough. More another time.

Unmet Expectations

Tonight I sit here recovering from a bout of tears - over unmet expectations. I'm struggling with my past insecurities and questioning again the wisdom of making such a major move as moving from OK to IN. After all we still don't have any family here in IN. Of course - if we still lived in OK we would see my family much more rarely adn likely not see Mike's family at all. However I would still have a regular steady job, health insurance for myself and the boys. And I would still have friends that showed up to events involving the boys and were supportive. My darling Son 1 said that he couldn't imagine still living in OK - quite a compliment coming from someone who so deparately didn't want to move - let alone move this far away.

I expected - when we moved - that we would have been able to get into a church that I could make friends at without it taking two years. I expected that we would have regular times together with S & C and their family - and that C would be willing to mentor the boys. I expected that when I needed help the help would be there - somewhat willingly. I didnt' expect to feel like I was an imposition when I needed help getting a vehicle from one place to another - as it's impossible to drive two vehicles at once. Or when I needed someone to talk to. I expected that there would be people willing to attend the boys' events and to mentor them to be godly Christian men.

I question the wisdom of this move - yet I think back to the fact that I literally walked into a bus route rather than having to sub. I think back and realize that long before S found this house I had seen the "for sale" sign very late one night when we were coming for a visit - in the dark. I think back on how fast my house in OK sold even being in poor shape. And I realize that God's hand was in those details. So He knows the situation now - He knows how much I hurt inside over the job switch, over the loneliness and not fitting in; I have to believe that He still has a plan and that He is still in control. But the loneliness is HUGE and the responsiblity of being a single parent is also huge.

Wow

Wow. I did it - set this up myself. It's pretty easy as far as the basics are concerned. Now just to learn how to customize it and make it look neat. :)

It's been another busy day - watching my friend's kids; picking up a mess of plants that were otherwise going to be tossed in the trash, prepping strawberries for canning, trying to find the owners of the beautiful black lab that showed up in our yard this morning. Turned out her name was Sadie - and she's now back with her owners. I'm relieved as I really didn't want to turn her into the shelter - she was fairly young, looked to be in good health and very sweet. Also managed to work on #1 son's room - got that mostly done as far as getting it picked up goes. He will be responsible for keeping it neat. Now to get teh carpet out of #2 son's room and all those plants in the ground or bigger pots. Yikes.