This week seems to have gone by fast - yet slow. I sure didn't accomplish all I would have liked to but I'm really glad it's Friday again - and hopefully this time we will actually have a nice weekend. I've got alot of work that needs done outside and it's been too cold. The plan tentatively for the weekend is to do the running that needs done this afternoon - then we'll be able to stay home tomorrow and I might get the house clean and stuff planted. I also need to get the lawn mowed - and finish the book work on my next set of lessons so I can do the assignments.
The track meet last night went well overall I think. Son2 spent most of the time helping in the concession stand - he did very well. Making change in his head with people waiting seemed to be a bit stressful for him but he was accurate with it - and cheerful about it. I was so pleased with him for being so helpful. Son1 did very well in the meet - he participated in 4 events - 1600 meter, 800 meter, 1600 meter relay and either discus or shotput (I forget). In all 3 of the races he improved his personal times - met or beat his personal goal that he'd set for himself. I didn't get to see him run any of the entire races but I was able to get out of the "concession cave" to cheer him on abit. (I have developed a big mouth when it comes to cheering my boys on at events!) Anyway I was very proud of him - he did well. He was abit disappointed that he didn't beat more runners - I reminded him that the important thing is that he beats his own times - anything else is icing on the cake.
Showing posts with label Goals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Goals. Show all posts
Friday, April 20, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
WhoooHoooo
WhoHooo.....I've got my school bus back! It's so much nicer to drive - I felt like I was tying on a comfortable, well-broken in pair of shoes when I got back in it this morning. On the one hand, that may sound like a crazy analogy but on "my" bus I know where all the controls are - I don't have to fumble to find them, I can reach everything easily and I know how the bus responds to my direction. As a result I'm a much more relaxed driver - able to handle and respond to my riders more easily. We saw 48 deer this morning - and that may be a low count as there were a couple of groups of a dozen or more deer in them.
On a different note, I have two of my assignments done for my photography course - need reprints for the second one and actually have to take pictures for the third one. I'm really rather hoping for a gorgeous sunset tonight - the third assignment is to take a scenic picture - or more technically "a beautiful outdoor vista". The object of this one is to achieve a feeling of distance. (The second was to get something close-up - and blur the background - the first was to express a sense of speed.) So far the three pictures have all been nature scenes - that's already my strong point. I don't do as well with people. Either way - to actually chose the photos and send them in for someone else to look at and critique is way out of my comfort zone. I'm abit scared that the instructor will hate them - that's why it's taken me so long to actually do any of the assignments.
Ok...enough rambling. I've got some emails to send and then need to do some picking up at least.
On a different note, I have two of my assignments done for my photography course - need reprints for the second one and actually have to take pictures for the third one. I'm really rather hoping for a gorgeous sunset tonight - the third assignment is to take a scenic picture - or more technically "a beautiful outdoor vista". The object of this one is to achieve a feeling of distance. (The second was to get something close-up - and blur the background - the first was to express a sense of speed.) So far the three pictures have all been nature scenes - that's already my strong point. I don't do as well with people. Either way - to actually chose the photos and send them in for someone else to look at and critique is way out of my comfort zone. I'm abit scared that the instructor will hate them - that's why it's taken me so long to actually do any of the assignments.
Ok...enough rambling. I've got some emails to send and then need to do some picking up at least.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Projects
My last post seemed to end abruptly and didn't really go where I wanted it to go - probably because I ran out of time to type it (and if I save stuff as drafts I often lose it). However I did appreciate the feedback and encouragement I received as a result. We made it through the anniversary date - Son1 probably had the hardest time that day. I got to go to breakfast with a friend here and with work stayed busy the rest of the day. Son1 returned from his retreat that afternoon - completely exhausted and grieving. During the retreat the kids had to come up with skits to show what a peacekeeper does - he came up with the idea of using the picture of him and his dad that he'd taken along - getting it, sitting down to look at it and then have a couple of other peacekeepers (his age - they were peer leaders for the younger ones who were just coming into the program) come over and talk with him about it. I don't know what exactly was said but it certainly made an impression on one of the kids on my school bus who'd been at the same retreat - he told me about it that Friday afternoon almost as soon as he got on the bus. However I'm sure doing that so publically brought the pain back for him. Son2 never said anything at all about it - not sure at all if it's because he's still trying to bury the pain or he really didn't remember.
Anyway....my dear aunt - who reads my blog and chooses to comment privately in an email - suggested that I use this time alone (not that I'm truly alone) to focus on finishing projects that I'm working on - and reminded me to remember that God has a plan for me. That scripture from Jer. 29 has been one of my favorites for many years - I just haven't focused on it enough recently. As a result of that encouragement I am going to focus on my photography course that I signed up for almost 2 years ago now. I'm now down to having to finish 33 lessons in just over a year. My immediate goal for this is to get the first two assignments done and ready to mail by Monday. Additionally, I'm going to try to focus on getting a handle on my finances (a topic for another post), my home - I hate housework - would much rather be working outside on stuff or reading, stitching or anything other than cleaning! And my weight - since I gave up my Y membership I've put pounds back on. (depression doesn't help either). As far as that goes....I find if I make sure I brush my teeth immediately after I'm done eating I tend to snack less. And does jumping on the trampoline count as exercise?? Now that's it's been nice out Son2 wants someone to jump with and it's usually me! (I finally figured out last night that that's likely part of the reason my legs have been so sore the last couple of nights).
One final project is something that's essentially unstarted - I have albums to make for the boys about their dad. I've been collecting pictures of his childhood, family, etc since he died but right now all are still in a bin. I've got the pictures I want to put in the front of each album - professional portraits of each boy with his dad and the albums. Outside of the first page the next main section should be almost identical for each boy as it will include copies of his family tree, childhood pictures and hopefully recollections from family members. (as a whole, hubby's family never talks about him - it's like he really didn't exist). Then I guess the final section will include pictures of the boys with their dad. The project is unstarted because so far I haven't been able to face doing this alone. I would absolutely love to have someone come along beside me and work with me on it - even if they were working on their own project but with me - in the same house, room or whatever.
Ok...enough rambling - it's time to go work on scanning slides. That's another major project I'm working on - scanning slides for my Mom and Dad. This way they will be on something current as far as media is concerned. And hopefully we will be able to get them labelled with the "who, what, when, where" information.
Anyway....my dear aunt - who reads my blog and chooses to comment privately in an email - suggested that I use this time alone (not that I'm truly alone) to focus on finishing projects that I'm working on - and reminded me to remember that God has a plan for me. That scripture from Jer. 29 has been one of my favorites for many years - I just haven't focused on it enough recently. As a result of that encouragement I am going to focus on my photography course that I signed up for almost 2 years ago now. I'm now down to having to finish 33 lessons in just over a year. My immediate goal for this is to get the first two assignments done and ready to mail by Monday. Additionally, I'm going to try to focus on getting a handle on my finances (a topic for another post), my home - I hate housework - would much rather be working outside on stuff or reading, stitching or anything other than cleaning! And my weight - since I gave up my Y membership I've put pounds back on. (depression doesn't help either). As far as that goes....I find if I make sure I brush my teeth immediately after I'm done eating I tend to snack less. And does jumping on the trampoline count as exercise?? Now that's it's been nice out Son2 wants someone to jump with and it's usually me! (I finally figured out last night that that's likely part of the reason my legs have been so sore the last couple of nights).
One final project is something that's essentially unstarted - I have albums to make for the boys about their dad. I've been collecting pictures of his childhood, family, etc since he died but right now all are still in a bin. I've got the pictures I want to put in the front of each album - professional portraits of each boy with his dad and the albums. Outside of the first page the next main section should be almost identical for each boy as it will include copies of his family tree, childhood pictures and hopefully recollections from family members. (as a whole, hubby's family never talks about him - it's like he really didn't exist). Then I guess the final section will include pictures of the boys with their dad. The project is unstarted because so far I haven't been able to face doing this alone. I would absolutely love to have someone come along beside me and work with me on it - even if they were working on their own project but with me - in the same house, room or whatever.
Ok...enough rambling - it's time to go work on scanning slides. That's another major project I'm working on - scanning slides for my Mom and Dad. This way they will be on something current as far as media is concerned. And hopefully we will be able to get them labelled with the "who, what, when, where" information.
Monday, February 19, 2007
New Insight
Last night on the way to Bible study I realized that almost 4 years past Mike's death I'm finally beginning ot do the real work of grieving. It's not that I didn't accept it when it happened - I certainly didn't expect to experience the times when I expected him to come walking through the door (when it had been months since he'd walked anywhere, let alone gone anywhere alone) or the times I expected it to be him when the phone rang. But I think I did accept that he was gone. But I apparently denied/ignored the pain of that loss. I tended to try to cover it up by shopping whether I needed whatever I purchased or not. And it wasn't just for me - I would shop for the boys also - would get the things they wanted often whether I should have spent the money or not. Now I'm in a position where I simply can't do that - due to a variety of reasons - not least being my own health issues from the last year. It's been tough - I want desparately to be able to go shopping - to fill the freezer, fridge and cupboards with groceries, to be able to wear clothes that don't have worn spots in them and that fit, to get the books I want to read (and own).....but can't right now. On the one hand it's been good for me - both to re-evaluate what we truly need and to help to eliminate the clutter in our home. I'm much more able to walk into a store now and leave without actually purchasing anything. On the other hand, it's frustrating to have film to be developed or pictures that need printed and not be able to do it or not to be able to just go get something because it would make life easier. Anyway... this has forced me to realize that some of my shopping has been to deny the pain of losing my husband, my team-mate.....Shopping was not something that I used to do much of. However he was raised having the ability to get whatever he wanted whenever he wanted it. That rubbed off on me during the early years of our marriage - it was frustrating to me at times as it got us in trouble financially and it's something I vowed I would not allow to happen to my boys. Yet now that he's gone it's something I've done.
Boy this is a rambling post - and likely won't make much sense. But it's real - something major I'm dealing with right now. A major goal for this year is to make headway on getting control of my finances and along with that apparently is realizing that I've used shopping as a way to avoid dealing with grief. I don't know where I will end up going with this but....anyway. Son2 is now waiting on his turn on the computer so I'd better close for now.
Boy this is a rambling post - and likely won't make much sense. But it's real - something major I'm dealing with right now. A major goal for this year is to make headway on getting control of my finances and along with that apparently is realizing that I've used shopping as a way to avoid dealing with grief. I don't know where I will end up going with this but....anyway. Son2 is now waiting on his turn on the computer so I'd better close for now.
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