Saturday, June 30, 2007

Learning

It was wonderful to be able to sleep in this morning! Two weeks of having to be up early to get Son1 to driver's ed by 7:00 am gets old. My cell phone hadn't even rung - of course the fact that I forgot it in the car last night makes a difference there! I don't currently have anything scheduled for today except basic housecleaning and catching up. I was gone most of the day yesterday - took Son1 to TaeKwonDo in the morning and Son2 to driver's ed. Then got home shortly after 11:00 am - just enough time to cook lunch for everyone then I was off again. Took the car in to have the squealing noise taken care of - they said both my belts were dry-rotted and replaced them. That took about an hour. Then I was off to the "city" to take a pre-employment drug test for the new job I'm picking up. I stopped to get gas, then went to the wrong place twice...The second time - as I was leaving to find the right place the power steering completely went out on the car. Driving in city traffic at 3:30 on a Friday afternoon with no power steering is definitely NOT fun- though it can be funny. Other drivers were honking at me when I didn't turn out of places fast enough to suit them - just because I didn't figure I had enough room to crank the car around. I finally get the drug test done - after waiting for some time there - and have to hustle back to the car repair place to find out what happened this time. I get there by 4:50 - techs go home at 5:00 and they officially close by 5:30. However since they knew I was coming they had the same fellow stay to work on it who'd done the work earlier. Turns out this time that it was a pulley that the alternator belt runs off that had gone out and had ruined the brand new alternator belt we'd just put on earlier. I paid for the pulley replacement and they replaced the alternator belt for free - they hadn't caught the initial problem so it was fair. They also showed me the part and explained what was wrong with it. So I learned something new and have a renewed respect for my bus driving boss - he listened to the car on Thursday morning and said "oh your pulley is losing it's ball bearings"and told me where to take it. Now I just have to remember to insist that "X" part is checked also when the car repair place says the problem is "Y" part. However when all was said and done I didn't get home again until after 6:30 pm - I was done at that point. We spent the evening watching Star Trek episodes and I did nothing else. So today is catch up day.

And I do have odd poison ivy bumps popping up but they are just single ones. So I have hope that I'll be able to avoid the massive breakout I had last time.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Better Day

Today was a much better day though I personally don't feel like I accomplished much around the house. Drove Son1 to driver's ed this morning - only 2 more days of doing that! Then took Son2 to TaeKwonDo where he attended 2 classes - he overheated and got faint feeling. I'm glad he's not afraid to say something to the instructor about it. Part of it was that he's not been going to bed at a reasonable hour - fighting me all the way. (Tonight he's in bed before 9:00 pm!) But the heat and the fact that the car blows hot air didn't help - and it's not possible to control what kind of air the car is blowing right now.

After we all got home this morning we were home for about an hour, then it was off to Bible Study. This was the first time I got to attend and I only knew one other lady there - and it wasn't the owner of the home where we had the study. However it was nice - beautiful area with a pond for the kids, breeze blowing through the trees, horses...So the ladies all sat in the sun while the kids played and swam in the pond. Our study is a book by Dee Brestin on several different Psalms - it's interesting - with 5 days of homework for each week. I've missed three so far - and still need to go back and do them. Next week we are studying Ps. 51.

From Bible Study I dropped Son1 off to go run - he ran 6 miles today - then I went and did an Amish run. It was a nice short one - though very hot. Tonight I had intended to make raspberry jam - but wasn't sure if I needed 5 cups of berries unsquished or squished. So I got the 5 cups of berries squished and have put it up for now. It's now down to 45 min. or so of stirring over the stove and processing. I'll hopefully get that done tomorrow evening. I'm scheduled to visit Pete during the early part of the afternoon. I also want to pick more raspberries - they are just coming on and there are plenty of bushes growing wild. I don't expect to have any plums and will have very few peaches this year due to the late snow and hard freeze.

And hopefully I'm not getting poison ivy bumps again - am pretty sure I have one on one finger we will see.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Argh!

How do you go from having a fun evening of playing board games to having 2 boys who are throwing punches and screaming at each other? And how do you get over the guilt that I as a mom feel for not quitting playing 30 minutes earlier? We hardly ever play board games but tonight Son2 and I decided to play. He trounced me thoroughly on the first game we played (Rummikub) and then we decided to play Pente. I beat him on that game. Then Son1 comes home from praise team practice and wants to join in. So we play a couple more rounds - of which both boys win 1 each - with Son2 winning last. During clean-up Son2 drops some of the stones into the "wrong" bag - mixing colors. Son1 gets mad and starts throwing punches which of course are returned. Consequences at the moment are that neither boy will be allowed to stay home tomorrow when I have places to go...And somehow I have to figure out how to get kids to bed when it's still light outside!

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Raspberries, Kittens and Pete

It's a partly sunny afternoon - after rain this morning. It was really good to be able to make it back to church - it seemed like a very long time since I'd been. Both boys were finally healthy and feeling better. Pastor Jason spoke - I always appreciate his teachings. He spoke on "What Lies Beneath" - gave us the lies that the devil gives us and then gave us the truth about God. I wasn't able to take all the notes I wanted to take - missed some Scripture references that I would have liked to get down. This time I would really like to get a copy of the message so I can listen to it again later.

Pete was in church this morning - for second service. It was good to see her though I didn't get to say more than hello. I feel that I'm able to visit with her when I go to her house - I didn't want to take her energy at church. I'm scheduled to go back again this coming Thursday afternoon for a time - it gives her regular care-givers a break and I appreciate the opportunity to go.

Yesterday between the volunteer bush that is growing in the back patio and the wild bushes in the woods behind the house the boys and I picked 4 cups of raspberries. I still need another cup to make a batch of jam but figure that by tomorrow hopefully enough more will be ripe to get them. I really enjoy making jam - even though it's hot work - it's so satisfying. What makes all this even more fun is that Son1 tried a raspberry and decided that he likes them - fresh. So while we picked he ate.

Also yesterday we were able to give the surviving baby kitten that had been born on Friday back to it's mama - and she immediately started nursing it. We lost 2 of the 3 but I rather suspect they wouldn't have lived anyway. I think the reason that she wouldn't pay attention to them was because she wasn't finished delivering - she had a 4th that we know about.

Now that I've made this decision to put a sign out on the house...I don't know where to start getting things ready. There's painting that really should be finished, straightening, more in-depth cleaning...and I should go ahead and pack some stuff up. I'm not in a huge hurry to sell at this point - but if a buyer should come along soon then I need to be ready. In the meantime, I'm still also taking as many Amish runs as I can, cutting other corners when I can and looking for a second job.

Ok...on to some other emails and getting ready to go into this week - it's going to be a busy one. I have two runs already scheduled, Son2 starts TaeKwonDo again and Son1 needs a picture id.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Boy I don't know where to start...last night I shared with my SIL a entry (unposted as of yet) about a decision I'd made to put out a "for sale by owner" sign on the house. The reasons for this decision are many and complicated...I freely admit to not being great with finances - and it's been worse since Hubby died. Rather than deal with issues, I've tended to overspend to "hide" the pain. However what put the cap on the decision was the fact that my real estate taxes didn't just increase over last year - they increased by more than 100%. Add to that the fact that my car is going to need replaced in the next couple of years and you see the need for some changes. Anyway...what I received back was a "hot" email from her husband basically saying that I needed to grow up, get a "real job" (as opposed to a job driving school bus) and leave my boys home alone so that I can pay the bills.

I admit that both boys are growing up - Son1 will soon be old enough to get a job of his own. However my strong feeling is that both boys still need me to be as available as possible - to attend their activities, be there to talk with them. A fulltime (40 hour a week) day job is not going to allow that at all. That kind of job would leave them home alone during the day during school breaks, and would not allow me the freedom to attend their activities. Add to that the fact that we really don't "need" this amount of space - we could manage well with less. Also I don't see any point in having a big house/space if you can't enjoy it - if you are gone working all the time.

Another option is to get a fulltime, 40 hour a week job working 3rd shift - hopefully with the ability to continue to drive school bus during the day. Granted that would mean I'd have to sleep during the day - but I can do that. And at least I'd be home during the day when the boys were home - so if they needed me, I could be available to them. Both boys admit that driving school bus is my "calling" - they know that I love it and the impact I can have on kids doing it.

Ok...I didn't share the above mentioned post to get jumped all over but because I trusted my SIL - she knows details of what's been going through my mind and because we married brothers we have a decent understanding of some of the issues we've both faced in our marriages.

I've rambled on enough for the time being. Later I'll write about the raspberries I've picked this morning and the baby kitties that I'm bottle-feeding.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Borning Rambling

I've mowed part of the lawn - the part by the road that is very visible and made an appointment for Son1 to see the dr. tonight. He's come down with a sore throat and has been exposed to strep. Since his throat is nasty and swollen looking he's going in. I will take the pictures from the wedding to get them developed also. But overall I don't feel like I've accomplished much today at all - getting up early to take Son1 to driver's ed this week is wrecking havoc on my ability to accomplish much of anything.

Yesterday was overall a good day. The morning was fairly quiet - except for making a couple of phone calls - including one to the county treasurer's office. I needed to try to find out why my real estate taxes doubled over last year. I still don't feel that I got a good answer or much help but at least I got the call made. In the afternoon I went to spend time with Pete. She seems stable at the moment and in reasonably good spirits. We didn't have much time to talk one-on-one because she had other company but that was ok. It was a beautiful afternoon to sit outside and visit - not too hot and muggy. I hope to be able to go back again a week from today.

Tuesday was interesting...Son1 overslept and ended up missing his driver's ed class. (He's now found out that he can make up the time by going in 30 min. early and staying late tomorrow and next week) He was pretty upset about it but then decided to accept the inevitable with as much grace as possible. I appreciated the chance to have a quiet morning where I didn't have to run much of anywhere. In the afternoon I did a LONG run - it was local but I was gone over 6 hours. I think that's one of the longest runs I've done, timewise - definitely one of the longest local runs - just staying in the area.

OK...enough rambling for now...I'm going to have to fix dinner very soon so that we can head to town. However I'm waiting for the news to be over on the radio.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Am I Wrong?

Am I wrong to be skeptical of "get rich quick" types of businesses? The ones that talk about residual incomes from getting people into the business beneath you...and that insist you can make thousands of dollars simply from joining the business and getting other people to sign up under you? I had a phone call from a friend from church tonight - she's worked for several years as a demonstrator for a large chain of stores - but has now joined this business. She's trying to recruit me to join under her as one of her "downline" - telling me it really works - you do make up what money you put out to join in and then some - especially since the market isn't saturated with this business yet. To me ...I see a pyramid that eventually has to come to an end. And it really really bothers me - I'm just not interested in being involved in that sort of thing. And I get frustrated when people constantly push me to get involved. I did tell her I was very skeptical about the whole thing and really didn't want to get involved. I would be interested in hearing other's viewpoints on this though I'm not eager to get into a huge debate over it.

Argh...Iv'e got to get to bed. It's way late and my thoughts are very muddled. Tomorrow and Wednesday are both going to be long days...and I wonder how I'm going to work another job. (I did Amish runs most of the day today).

Sunday, June 17, 2007

It seems...

It seems like a long time since I've been in church. Son2 and I are home today due to him being sick - low grade fever, lots of sniffles, exposed to strep since I was sick...He's in SS with my friend Pete's son Brent. I don't want to expose Brent to anything he could take home to his mom so we stayed home today. Last week we were in OH, the week before I was in nursury both services...Technically Son2 is probably old enough to stay home by himself for a short time during the day but I don't like to leave them home alone when they are not feeling well. Having said all that - what's really strange to me is how much I miss being in church even in a church that I really don't feel at home in. Yes I was brought up to be in church and I've also gone through a time that I went only because I knew I needed to be there for my boys. Now I miss it when I'm not there - though I can't see myself regularly being back in a church with both a morning and evening service.

Today would have been a difficult day for Son2 anyway...and possibly will be also for Son1 - being as it's Father's Day. That's a day that we tend to let slide in this house - it brings back the sense of loss too much. I'll call my parents later but otherwise we won't make a big deal out of it. Maybe there's another way to handle it but "ignoring" it works for us.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

It's Over

I know if I wait until tonight I'll be too tired to post. I've deliberately cut down some of my plans for the day today as I was gone most of yesterday. I went and picked up a very detailed job application that I need to get filled out today so I can drop it off either tonight or tomorrow early. (I know that tomorrow is Sunday but the person I'm dealing with on this leaves town Sunday afternoon for two weeks so I need to get the application in before he leaves) While I was out getting the job application I dropped by the wedding site to be able to see inside and hopefully get an idea of what picture taking would be like. Then home for a brief nap, then out to do the wedding. I was at the site by 5:15 - no one else arrived until close to 5:45. The ceremony was supposed to start at 6:30 - I don't think it started until closer to 7:00. It was after 9:00 pm before I got home - only to have the boys fighting. That's frustrating because it makes it really hard for me to look for a job when I'm facing having to referree fights when I get home.

The wedding itself seemed chaotic to me - two weeks isn't long to plan such a thing - even with a very creative bride. I just hope the pictures turn out - it really wasn't as difficult managing 8 kids as I thought it would be. There was just no really good backdrop to take pictures against - I found that frustrating. And I'm more certain than ever that my "gifting" in this is mainly nature photos followed by photos of children involved in everyday activities. But how to fit that in with regular work and caring for the boys is the question. Anyway...I was going to try to get the pictures developed today but that's not going to happen as I need to be home until time to leave for my Amish run this afternoon.

Ok..enough rambling for now - time to get on with the day.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Doing Better

Wow....thanks for the encouraging comments & prayers. I really appreciate them. I am doing better today - no longer have the extremely sore throat and am not napping as much as I was - only 1 nap today instead of 2 like the rest of the week! The house is even looking abit better - the boys and I spent 2 15 min. sessions working in the front room and the family room - managed to get things picked up, dusted and generally looking better. The kitchen counters are also cleaned off - that helps alot. There's still plenty to do but getting the boys to help for 15 minutes at a time does make a difference. I'm even beginning to get paperwork organized!

Tomorrow will be another extremely busy day - TaeKwonDo in the morning, wedding photographer assignment in the evening...After that I think I might get to begin to slow down - though I will have to focus on job-hunting then. The boys are watching a Star Trek Episode - it should be almost over and we will need to leave for the evening tonight - for grief group.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Down

Tonight I'm struggling - and the light at the end of the tunnel looks very dim - not there. Some of it is my own mistakes & wrong choices, some of it is definitely the fact that I'm not feeling well complicated by the fact that I'm the only adult in the family and the one responsible for the house, the bills, everything...My boys are wonderful - I love them dearly but they absolutely don't see the need to help around the house. They've been good about letting me sleep the way I needed to today - 2 naps! But not at all good about stepping in and doing abit extra to help out. I hate with a passion having everything a mess but just don't seem able to get things cleaned up. What little energy I've had has been spent on getting Son2 to TaeKwonDo or Son1 running. I don't know how to prioritize getting things back in order - I've got to get another assignment sent in for my course, prepare for this wedding on Friday that I'm taking pictures at, get the house back in order, find a second job...the list goes on. I know that I'm not the only one struggling - and that my struggles are minor in comparision with others. And I know that things will look better in the morning - they usually do. We have TaeKwonDo first thing in the morning - a friend just called and she offered to pick Son2 up after Bible Study tomorrow to take him to play for abit - her middle son (oldest one at home) and my Son2 are only a year apart in age and get along well. When he goes over there I generally get quite abit done on the house - that always helps me emotionally.

If someone was to come up the drive and make me a cash offer on the house I would probably accept it and move - to someplace smaller and cheaper. However the likelihood of that happening is exceedingly slim - and I would hate to leave all my flowers and trees.

Ok...I'm being really open here - hope I won't regret putting this all out there. In the meantime, I'm off to bed.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Strep Throat and Pictures

Well...it's strep throat according to the dr. - or he says possibly mono but he thinks that's highly unlikely. He said I won the award for the reddist, sore-ist throat today. With antibiotics I should be definitely feeling better by Wednesday - and no longer contagious either. So as far as accomplishing anything - today was a wash. Tomorrow I might manage to get something done but intend to mainly stay home and take things easy. Job-hunting will be put off until Wednesday as it's pretty difficult to be effective at jobhunting when one is feeling crummy. The necessary car repair will be put off until I have cash in hand to pay for it...praying that it continues to run in the meantime.

On a different note I am definitely taking wedding pictures this coming Friday - I'm both nervous and excited at the same time. I've got some major planning to do before then - and need to check out the location. BUT nerves not withstanding, I know that I can do better than a bunch of disposable cameras would be.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Home Again

We are safely home after a busy most enjoyable weekend in Ohio. We now have a very confused car, lots of pictures to download and memories to process. Thankfully the car brought us safely home - in spite of all kinds of error messages and alarms going off and no control over the AC system. Now I'm going to take my sore throat to bed - will attempt to update more tomorrow.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Quiet Day

Well a slow start to the day...I'm really thankful for that today. It's nice to not have to get up and rush off to TQD class with one boy or running with another. Yesterday was a day spent mowing the lawn, working in the flower beds and recuperating from not feeling well the day before. Of course that was after an early TQD class so it was an early day. The lawn is completely mowed - for the first time in over a month. And I was able to get 3 day lily bulbs planted and a white coneflower. I still have quite abit of planting to do though it will probably wait until after our trip this weekend. My one "souvenir" of yesterday is the 4 large itchy, red, swollen bug bites that I have - made by a triangular looking fly-like bug. I think I managed to kill the ones that bit me but not before they'd had lunch - hopefully the itching will stop soon.

Today I have a haircut scheduled, have a few items to purchase at the grocery and jam to make. I also wanted to make banana muffins to take as a snack but not sure I'll get it done. Neither boy has any activity that they "have" to be at today - they are currently playing with Legos - have them spread out all over the family room. I'm thankful that they are still able to play together and enjoy themselves. And the TV is currently off!!

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

A New Day

A new day...the bus is turned in, the house is slowly coming back together (emphasis on slowly), I've visited Pete and hopefully now things will slow down abit. It's a huge relief to have the bus turned in - strange to look out and have no big yellow "monster" sitting in the driveway but nice to no longer have that hanging over my head. So we will enjoy the empty space and the time off of school. I have flowers to plant, vegetables to weed and we've had rain.

Visiting Pete - that was much more difficult than I expected it to be. She seems at peace and stable at the moment which is good. Being there wasn't the challenge - but it sure brought back the memories for me. I just felt at a loss the rest of the day yesterday - unable to really focus on much of anything. I'm thankful that she has a relationship with God and we have the comfort of knowing that we will see her again. However it's so hard to think of her husband and young son who will be left to go on alone - as well as her grown children and their children who won't have the chance to know her.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

One Way to Stop

Well one way to stop the world so you can get off for a time is to misplace one's car keys. I got a call to do an Amish run this morning - accepted though I wasn't overly enthused about it. But ended up not getting to go because the car will not run without an ignition key! So instead I spent the day working on getting the bus cleaned and looking for the car keys. They are not in the car, on, under or in a couch or chair. They are not hanging where they belong or on a counter somewhere. They are not in the laundry or bathroom or by the computer. We have checked drawers, floors, tables, and most any other place - likely or not - that we can think of. I have gone through many many empty plastic bags - and the trash! On the one hand, it's been kind of nice being home today - actually having time to do a few things that need done. On the other hand, I really do need the car keys to show up as it's my only set. Tonight I have decided to simply try to relax and get to bed early. The keys will either show up eventually or I'll have to look into replacing them. Either way there's not much more I can do about them right now. Tomorrow we will learn (again) how much we appreciate having a vehicle - church is about 2 1/2 miles from here and I'm scheduled in the nursery. Skipping isn't an option.

Edit: Just after I posted this - and was tucking boys into bed I once again found the car keys! And yes...they were in an "obvious" place - buried deep in my purse that I'd already dumped out once. Praise God!

Friday, June 01, 2007

Stop the world....

Stop the world I want to get off! It's strange - 2nd official day into summer vacation and I feel like things have not slowed down at all. Yesterday...I was coming down off the roller coaster ride of end of school year, 8th grade recognition, etc. This morning it was up early to take Son2 to TaeKwonDo class this morning. Then home to get Son1 for a dr's appointment - he's got an upper respiratory infection that he's probably had for at least 2 weeks. He also needed a dr's signature for space camp. I have to finish getting that paperwork filled out and turned in - it's due Tuesday. We did some shopping - finally able to get cereal. I also got some plants - watermelon, cantelope, cucumber for the garden as well as some perennials for those beds. Then home to make a grocery list, then off to chiropracter and Wally-world. After that home again - groceries away, then dinner then outside to plant the fruit and vegetables - we also planted carrot seeds and corn. I had both boys helping with that. Then I sent the boys inside and spent another hour watering and weeding. It looks like my 6 cherry shrubs are going to do ok - they are leafing out nicely. My forsythia that are in also seem to be doing well though I still have 2 to plant. I haven't decided where to put them yet.

So tomorrow I have to make major progress on getting the bus cleaned - it's due back in on Monday. So far all I've accomplished is to get the seats up and trash cleared out from under them - and the floor swept. I still have to wash everything down - inside and out - including windows. The goal is to get an early start on that and get it done tomorrow. Then Monday I can drive the bus down, power wash it and hopefully get it turned in. I also need to get some more plants planted, paperwork finished and probably most importantly come up with a list of pictures to take for a wedding and pricing for the same. (The wedding is in 2 weeks - and we have a weekend trip coming up beforehand).