It's Official

It's official - Son2 is now officially signed up to do Tai Kwon Do again. Tonight was the hardest class I've watched so far - focusing on personal discipline (and integrity). Students spent time standing at attention (not military attention - but back straight, hands at their hips, eyes straight ahead) for one minute at a time. Then it was 4 different stretches - holding each one for a count of 60. This doesn't sound like much but picture arms up and forward, hands clasped, palms facing outwards - legs in a half squat (a squat would have been easier!), or 1 knee bent, the other stretched out behind or bent over, hands on the floor - clasped. I'm sure my desciptions don't give one any idea how difficult these were - I rarely see Son2 sweating during class. He did tonight - just dripping down his face. He was tired when it was over! However he wants to do this bad enough that my telling him that we won't attend class unless he picks up is good incentive. So...we will see now how it continues. I really would love to see him get his black belt. It will take time and work though.

On a different note I finally got my unit 1 assignments back. Two of the three pictures I sent in generally were good - showing I understood the objectives. The other one I have to redo - it wasn't quite what they wanted to see. I'm not as disappointed over it as I was afraid I might be - the instructor was very clear in his explanations of what I did right and wrong. And I had an "ah-ha" moment on the one that had to demonstrate distance - near and far in the same picture. It's still scary - can I actually get good enough to help to support myself and the boys with it?

Is a Picture Worth a Thousand Words?

A picture may be worth a thousand words BUT only if the story-teller who took the picture is around! This has become so very real to me the past couple of days as I've sorted through pictures trying to find ones to put in my boys' memory books. I've got plenty of pictures of our early marriage years (and post-kid years) - a few of our dating years and even less of Mike's growing up years. And those few that I do have don't have meaning to me because I don't know the stories behind them. I do, for example, know that his family took a trip to Yellowstone, Mt. Rushmore and Disney - but I have no idea of when or how they travelled or what was special about the trip. There are no stories - funny or otherwise - associated with those pictures. It makes it really hard for me to make the childhood portion of the books/albums anything more than a static boring display of school pictures and other professional portraits. What I really want to include is some idea of who my husband was and what made him that way. On the other hand, this reality makes me realize the importance of journalling - the every day stuff not just the big events. And not necessarily to have all of it read by "everyone" but for the sake of leaving a legacy that is understood and has meaning.

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On a different note, Thursday night's track meet was cancelled so we all got to go to Grief Group. The meet was not cancelled until one of the drivers for it had actually shown up at the middle school and I was already on my afternoon bus route. It made for interesting radio chatter as drivers adjusted schedules and made new arrangements for their children. I even had to get on and ask someone to get ahold of Son1 to let him know that I knew it was cancelled so he would stop trying to reach me by phone. A good portion of this area was under a tornado watch so even though it was trying to be sunny out there was still weather concerns. And Grief Group was crowded! It seemed that since "everyone's" events were cancelled they all showed up. I just think it really shows how much it's needed and helpful to so many - but I was glad it wasn't my first time there because I likely wouldn't have gone back - too many strange people.

Last night Son1 and I went to the visitation for his classmate/teammate's mom. It was a 30 minute drive there and back and we were likely only at the funeral home for about 15 minutes. However I think it was important for Son1 that he was able to show support for his friend no matter how short a time we were there. We did not have a visitation for Mike - sometimes I question the wisdom of that for both myself and the boys. However after last night, Son1 at least says he's glad we didn't do that. He found it "creepy" to have the open casket in the room and I wasn't able to comfortably explain any reasons for a visitation. I left Son2 with friends as he didn't have any need to be there.

Son2 and I have a good part of the day to ourselves today. It's beautiful and sunny outside so we should be able to do some much needed mowing abit later. However Son2 is upset that he's home alone without Son1 and is not eager or willing to help wiht chores. So that could be a challenge as Saturday chores are requred anyway.

I've been on the computer for enough time for now - it's time to close off and get going on stuff.

Unmotivated

I don't feel like I have much to write about today. Yesterday was a rainy cool day - more like spring is supposed to look like. Actually it rained most of the day yesterday and felt quite cold to me. I had a very difficult time getting motivated to do much of anything - felt like I needed to be creative but couldn't figure out what exactly to work on. I ended up sorting pictures - mainly ones I already had laying out to work on. I feel like I made a slight bit of progress but not much.

It's rained most of the morning but seems to be trying to clear up now. I was rather hoping the track meet for tonight would be postponed as I think Son1 would benefit from grief group tonight. If it's not cancelled, Son2 and I will miss it as we will be at grief group. So I'm still waiting to hear.

On a different note - it looks like my lilacs might bloom yet. They are trying to anyway. I thought the late season snow might have killed them off.

Change in Plans

Ok...this morning felt very much like a case of "Who's on First?" I was scheduled to drive a bus to the Wizards game today. However we got there and there was no need for 7-8 buses - I think they ended up taking 5 out of the ones that were there - not including mine or the handicap bus. It was a mess with the principal appearing more confused than anyone. I really don't mind not going - it would have been fun if my boys had been going but neither one attends that school. However this way I'll have the energy to make dinner and get some stuff done around the house.

Since I got home I've replanted all 7 of the bushes we put in on Saturday - something had come along and dug them up. I suspect it was likely deer or possibly coons. Either way they didn't like them (thankfully) so it was simply a matter of putting them back down into the soil and then watering them tonight. I've also started a load of laundry and intend to go take a nap. The cherry shrubs should produce in 2-3 years and I forget how big they will get - 25 ft. seems way too big as they are supposed to be dwarf cherries. At some point I will need to get mulch and top soil but doubt it will be today.

Ramblings

This is the start of another long day - I'm one of 8 buses driving an elementary school to the Wizards game. This will be the first time I've done that so it will be an experience - and a LONG day.

Last night's track meet went fairly well - it was certainly fun to watch. The other team had a kid who grew up in Kenya - I think his background was from a country close to Kenya. Anyway....he could run!!! Any race he was in we were pretty much guaranteed to come in second at best - he was usually at least half a lap ahead of our best guys. Even starting near the back of the line-up he just took off and moved ahead. And he made it look effortless! Son1 was less than satisfied with how he did overall - his mile time was bit slower than it was last Thursday. However he did get a Personal Record on his 400 meter run. He's not a sprinter and that shows in his gait so to have that be the only PR he had is really good.

Son2 was a challenge - he didn't want to go to the meet, he didn't want to eat where we ate after the meet, he didn't want to to go bed when we got home. ...As a firstborn I can't understand all his frustrations at getting "dragged" to all his brother's activities and not being involved in much of his own. Yet I will admit it's kind of a pain - especially since he doesn't have the option to stay home and have another family member watch him. And it's exhausting. Anyway any suggestions to make it easier on him and us would be appreciated.

Got to go - it's getting late and I'm not ready for work.

Opportunity

I wanted to write last night but it got too late. Son1 was offered the opportunity to run in a Mini-Marathon in 2 weeks - the entry fee was already paid. However he isn't going to do it. I have mixed emotions about this - I think it would have been a cool opportunity for him. On the other hand 2 weeks wasn't much advance notice and he's not trained for such an event. Additionally it would have meant that I would have had to come up with the room in the budget for an overnight in Indianapolis, food for the 3 of us and gas...not to mention any other incidentals that I haven't thought about. So....we aren't going. Son1 feels that he wants more time to train for such an event so he's very accepting of not going. Not to mention that he has 2 track meets a week for the next 3 weeks or so and he does want to run a 5K at the end of May.

Off to start a busy busy week - if you think of it, pray for alertness as I drive the bus - I have extra driving to do this week.

Landscaping

Well it looks like my roses survived the hard freezes we had at the beginning of this month. I spent time outside today clearing away winter debris - leaves, branches, left-over dead growth from last year that needed clipping out. Under all that garbage I could see the beginnings of new growth on the roses - some that had frozen but some that had come on since our last freeze and looked healthy. In the same flowerbed there's another plant - I don't know what it was called but it's a silvery foliage plant - that I put in last summer. I clipped off the old dead stuff from the winter, cleared away the leaves and found new growth coming up. I'm really excited - I love plants like that - that are perennials and come back every year. There's still work to be done in that flowerbed and more in others. However it was so neat to see the new growth and realize the roses had survived. (that's actually a big deal because I'm not one to heavily mulch and "winterize" plants - I tend to just let leaves and stuff accumulate to keep them warm which I then clear out the following spring). I'm sure there's a spiritual analogy to make from that but right now I can't express it.

I also put in 6 cherry shrubs that I'm hoping will produce fruit in a couple of years - and a forsythia. I have 3 more forsythia's to plant - just need to decide exactly where to put them. The cherry shrubs (which right now just look like twigs) are near my full-grown cherry tree - I'm hoping they will help to pollinate it so that I will get fruit off that as well. The boys dug the holes for what I planted today. Son1 still wants to get a garden in also but the tiller's not working well enough to till it up yet. We also burned branches that we picked up out of the yard and mowed a good portion of it. There's still another hour's worth of mowing to do I'm sure.

My peach trees are blooming, the plum trees have been - maybe I'll see some fruit off them as well. We'll have to wait and see - the weather might have killed them off. I'm seeing bumble bees around - around the dandelions and the lilacs - the latter have not bloomed this spring so far.

Friday Again

This week seems to have gone by fast - yet slow. I sure didn't accomplish all I would have liked to but I'm really glad it's Friday again - and hopefully this time we will actually have a nice weekend. I've got alot of work that needs done outside and it's been too cold. The plan tentatively for the weekend is to do the running that needs done this afternoon - then we'll be able to stay home tomorrow and I might get the house clean and stuff planted. I also need to get the lawn mowed - and finish the book work on my next set of lessons so I can do the assignments.

The track meet last night went well overall I think. Son2 spent most of the time helping in the concession stand - he did very well. Making change in his head with people waiting seemed to be a bit stressful for him but he was accurate with it - and cheerful about it. I was so pleased with him for being so helpful. Son1 did very well in the meet - he participated in 4 events - 1600 meter, 800 meter, 1600 meter relay and either discus or shotput (I forget). In all 3 of the races he improved his personal times - met or beat his personal goal that he'd set for himself. I didn't get to see him run any of the entire races but I was able to get out of the "concession cave" to cheer him on abit. (I have developed a big mouth when it comes to cheering my boys on at events!) Anyway I was very proud of him - he did well. He was abit disappointed that he didn't beat more runners - I reminded him that the important thing is that he beats his own times - anything else is icing on the cake.

Single Parenting & Involvement

Ok...it really sucks to be a single parent - the only one responsible to do the errands, cook the meals, gets kids to where they need to be, etc. I ended up not driving the bus this morning because I got up feeling pretty lousy. By the time I got a call back from my boss about not driving I was already back in bed rapidly falling asleep. I slept a couple of hours past the time the kids left (after they got themselves around), then got up and tried to get around. Long story short - I would have taken the entire day as a sick day but knew I had to get to the grocery store, plus Son2 had Tai Kwon Do and Son1 had to be picked up from track practice.

During the course of getting around I talked to another friend and commented that it "sucks to be a single parent". Her response was "I know". She's not a single parent - was one for about 4 months when her kids were very young but then remarried and has had help and support since. So her response rubbed me wrong because I thought "how could you know? You've never had to try to be in 2 or more places at once!" I bit my tongue and didn't say anything - just let the topic of conversation go back to what's going on in her life.

On a different note - sometimes I think I need to learn to say no! I'm the parent in charge of the concessions for the home track meet tomorrow (and possibly for the season!) That means that I will drive my afternoon bus route then head straight back to the middle school to run the concession stand until the meet is over or we sell out of stuff. I have to arrange to get Son2 to the middle school instead of home - that will likely be the biggest challenge. And it's questionable as to whether or not I will get to see Son1 run - that will depend entirely on how much, if any, help I have. So tomorrow will definitely be a long day. But I'm a little excited about it as I enjoy being involved and getting to help.

Ok...today has been the day I've not accomplished anything. I got my hair cut and have taken a nap. It's the day I've hit my "wall" of exhaustion so to speak. So I'm not pushing it - have planned spagetti for dinner, know I need to make a run to Walmart for a few groceries but am just sort of kicking back and taking things easy today. I didn't sleep well last night - when I did sleep I had some pretty wild dreams. Next week I will be driving field trips both Monday and Tuesday - Tuesday's will be a long day as I'm scheduled to be one of 7 or 8 buses that are taking a whole elementary school to see a Wizards game. It means that the rest of the week will be reserved for taking care of stuff around the house and working on my course.

Son2 was dressed and ready to go to TQD class last night by the time I got the school bus parked. He seemed to have fun though I can tell that some of it is completely new to him. He will have to practice tonight - learned 5 steps of the first pattern that he's to work on. He's also to do 25 side kicks each night. I may do some of the stretching and the sidekicks with him - that will be good for me. I think he was pretty tired afterwards - and didn't fight going to bed too much. It's nice to be able to get back into a bit of a routine.

Monday Musings

I rather suspect that this week will be a time mainly of rest and hopefully rejuvenation. I've been exhausted since last Thursday - yet still trying to keep up with the "running" - taking care of the kids, the house, work...the list goes on. Thursday night was Grief Group - Son2 and I went. Son1 had an Academic Olympic Meet - we didn't make it home to get him picked up. Thankfully one of his teachers was willing to bring him home and drop him off.

Friday I watched the son of one of my friend's while she and the rest of the family went to a funeral. We had a good time playing - outside of a screaming fit when his mom left D did great. D is 2 years old and I've known him since he was an infant. I've actually kept him overnight once almost a year ago now. He just recently had his tonsils out - I got to visit him in the hospital and had a ball doing that. Anyway....I was completely wiped out Friday night so my boys and I stayed home. Saturday we ran - spent several hours in town. I promised Son1 that I would buy him good quality running shoes once I knew he was going to stick to running. We took care of that, then went to the mall.....I think we left home around 2:30 and didn't get home again until bedtime. It snowed heavily most of the time we were gone.

Sunday morning there was 2-3 inches of snow on the ground and trees - it was amazing. It was beautiful, sunny and cold - though by mid-afternoon all the snow had melted. The boys and I went to church but didnt' go to Bible study last night. Being home was good for all of us - and it turned out that we didn't miss much because two others who attend also missed. I had both boys in their rooms in bed by 8:30 last night - much needed by all of us I think.

Today I'm still weary - still dealing with the itchy burning eyes. But the sun is shining, the day is supposed to warm up into a nice day....I hope to get a nap in addition to getting some things taken care of around the house and work on my course. And I've decided how I want to do the quilts for the boys - I plan to use simple squares - not cut or heavily pieced - simply cut as squares from the shirts and then stitched together. Then I will use a color that's a favorite of the boys as backing. I'm not sure how I will "quilt" them but that's something I can figure out later.

Catching Up

Mom and Dad left about 10:00 this morning to head home. They should get in earlier then they arrived because as far as I know they don't have any stops to make on the way home. Hopefully the roads won't be too bad - we've had rain mixed with snow and possibly some sleet again this morning. By noon yesterday we had close to an inch of slushy sleet/snow on the deck. Son1's track meet was cancelled due to the weather. I rejoiced as I wasn't looking forward to standing out in the weather to watch it. No matter how many blankets, etc we packed we wouldn't have been able to stay warm and dry. However I know Son1 was very disappointed.

My tulips are still trying to survive - they bravely lift their heads up in the afternoon after a very cold morning. It's impressive to watch - how often do I not want to lift my head and continue on after a trial?

We have 5 surviving baby kittens - 3 were born Easter Sunday, the other 2 on Tuesday. All are well hidden - though I had to help one of the mama's protect hers from the cold and wet yesterday. (We lost one of hers due to the cold) Eventually I'll get pictures of them and maybe even figure out how to post them. Speaking of pictures - I haven't heard anything back yet on the ones I sent in for my course - am hoping that will be soon. Hopefully tomorrow I will have a chance to work on the next lessons. I'm too exhausted today (mainly due to emotions).

Just made a fresh batch of peach jam - it's cooling on the kitchen counter now. Would love to have some fresh homemade bread with it. However that won't happen just yet. Today's an early release day for the students so the teachers can have a in-service in the afternoon. On the one hand that's nice because we all get done earlier. On the other hand, one doesn't accomplish much around the house those days. Tonight Son2 and I will go to Grief Group. Son1 has an Academic Team competition to go to - it's always on a Thursday evening that we have Grief Group but it's only once a year. He just wants us to get directly home afterwards so that we can be home in time to get him picked up.

Better scoot - I have to leave on the bus in just under a half hour.

Well Maybe....

Well maybe the tulips and daffodils will survive! We've had almost a week of below average temps with some very cold hard freezes overnight. But this afternoon it looked like the tulips were trying to stand up again and have their buds open. I truly do hope so! Today was slightly warmer than the past few days so ti was nice.

Back to school went well though I confess to not being ready to get up this morning. It was a very quiet afternoon on the bus - that was nice. I had several students miss the bus this morning though as a whole they seemed to be glad to be back as well.

I've got a bunch more to write about but too tired tonight as I didn't get home from my Amish run last night until about 11:30 pm. It went well overall also - no major snow to deal with - that was nice. Have the pictures we took in to have scanned back - picked them up this evening. I will order reprints soon and get working on teh albums. Tomorrow possibly I'll get the originals into an album.

Ok...it really is bedtime.

Projects & Pictures

Everyone has gone to bed - it's just past 10:00pm. So far it's been way too cold to do much outside. I'm going to end up pulling out my winter clothes again - I'd put most away as it was warming up so nicely. Son1 appears to have completely lost his winter coat - and he's now grown up enough to say he no longer wants to wear a heavy winter "parka" because they are too bulky and thick.

So far I've done 3 CD's of Mom and Dad's slides - I wish I could get them to go into a slide show. However so far I've not been able to figure that out. But it's been fun to sit down at night and go through the ones I've managed to get done. I take notes so that I can edit the titles/info on the slides as needed. It's really fun to listen to Mom and Dad reminisce - they will look at a slide and be able almost instantly to come up with info that I don't have for it. They've talked about my brother N's SS/kid's club that he led at Kijabe school - I had no idea that had gone on. We identified a couple of my sister K's friends from school - kids that I knew and were somewhat friends with. We've laughed over how impish my youngest brother D looks - and how much my Son2 resembles him.

As far as the albums for the boys - today Mom and I went through the old albums that his mom had given me and got the pictures out. I ended up taking them to the camera store and am having them all put on a CD. That will mean I can then order reprints of the ones I want to include and have them all be the same size. I will then mount the originals into another album that's photo safe. Not sure how much I will get done tomororw as I have a longer Amish run scheduled for the afternoon. (I really really hope and pray that it doesn't snow heavily for that!)

Trips & Arrivals

Well Son2 is safely home from his trip to DC. He took a 2 hour nap yesterday then was up the rest of the day. He had a good trip except for their visit to one mall where he had to spend time as the only boy with a group of girls who didn't feel they needed watching over. He got a solid 10 hours of sleep last night so should be catching up and read y to go today.

Mom and Dad arrived here safely last night about 9:30 - fairly late for them but....guess they ran into some heavy snow squalls and at least one major accident that occasioned a detour that took quite some time. They are still sleeping this morning but we sat up and visited for an hour or so they arrived. I'm really looking forward to their time here - we'll go through the slides that I've managed to get scanned, visit a lot....Mom has said she's willing to help me get the boys' albums started. Of course it will go far too fast. And unfortunately it's too cold to do too much outside.

More another time - everyone is now awake.

One Finished Project

Ok....the floor is "finished" - in that all the carpet is out (unless you count the closet - which I don't). It looks good for not having been refinished yet and I'm satisfied with what we accomplished. When Son2 and I go out tonight for our movie I am planning on stopping into a home improvement place to get shelf supports to put some additional shelves up for Son1's airplane collection. I know he's already purchased himself a couple of new ones on this trip he's on - and his current shelf is full. I also intend to get a couple of bins for some of his stuff - our dining room table is still mostly covered with stuff I took off his dresser and bookshelves. Maybe if he ends up with a place for all his treasures the room itself will stay neater. I can only hope. Son2 also needs more shelves but not as badly - he's much better about not keeping all his school papers in his bedroom.

Son2 is currently happily playing outside with 2 younger girls - they are running around riding scooters, bikes, jumping....I'm thankful because it gives me some time to take care of some other stuff like paying bills and getting the back room cleaned for Mom and Dad's arrival. I would like to finish at least one more box of slides but am not sure if that will happen or not. I have also arranged to have a dumpster delivered on Thursday so that we can get the barn cleaned out. There's now carpet from 2 bedrooms nad the hallway, bathroom remodel stuff, boxes, stuff that should have been given away that has now become trash.....I'll be glad to see it gone - at least mostly gone.

I've still got laundry to do and fold, some sweeping and vacuuming to do....but overall the house looks much better than it did two days ago. I'm pleased.

Must go pay bills and get off the computer.

A change in Plans

Change of plans for today - I was going to pull carpet in Son1's room with Son2's assistance. However Son2 spent the night at a friend's last night so I'm going to clean! (hopefully) I got a start on the kitchen late last night so I'm going to finish that, then work on the family room and bathrooms. Tomorrow Son2 has a haircut scheduled - it was supposed to be both boys but since Son1 is not going to be home yet....it can't be. Then we will also pull carpet - hopefully finishing Son1's room. For dinner tomorrow night we are supposed to be going to see a movie that just came out this past weekend - paying full prices. However this time we are going to try something very different and go to Cinema Grill to see the movie.

On a different note - I'm doing much better emotionally than I was last time I posted. I was very very down - not just because of Rachel's situation though that contributed muchly. Sleep, sunshine and the encouraging words of friends have helped alot - I will continue to plug along - thankful for my blessings, trusting for the other issues.

My first cup of coffee is done so it's time to head into my day. Have a lot to accomplish today.